Burnout rarely arrives suddenly. It builds up when you carry everything alone for a long time and don't let yourself stop. And then it turns out that getting back to your normal, calm life is very hard.

I know this state not only from books: burnout has been part of my life too. Here's how to notice it and where to start.

What it can look like

  • Tiredness that doesn't go away even after a weekend.
  • Irritation over small things — with loved ones, with yourself, with everything around.
  • Things that used to bring joy leave you indifferent.
  • It's hard to concentrate; everything takes effort.
  • Your body sends signals: poor sleep, changes in appetite, headaches, frequent colds.
  • The constant thought "I should be coping better".

Why it happens

When you live in "I have to" mode for a long time — work, a move, caring for others, adapting to a new country — your energy is spent faster than it comes back. Especially if you're used to being the "straight-A student": strong, convenient, the one who can take anything.

Burnout isn't laziness or weakness. It means you've been giving more than you get for a long time.

Where to start

  1. Say it to yourself plainly: "I'm exhausted." No judgement, just a fact.
  2. Cross at least one item off your "have to" list.
  3. Get the basics back: sleep, food, movement, fresh air.
  4. Ask for help — and accept it.
  5. Rest regularly, not once "everything is done".

When to see a psychologist

If this state lasts for weeks, rest doesn't help, or it seems that nothing makes sense, don't stay alone with it. In therapy we don't look for ways to get more done. We work out what you really want, what you need and where your limits are.

If you have thoughts of harming yourself, call 112 or contact emergency services in your country.